Soapy

omegleshit:

You’re now chatting with a random stranger. Say hi!

You: hey

Stranger: hey

You: what’s happening

Stranger: just got back, from watching new moon!!!! :D

You: oh, you DUMB FUCKING CUNT

You: I CAN’T HAVE ONE PEACEFUL MOMENT ON OMEGLE WITHOUT SOME ACNE-FLECKED PRETEEN THROWING THEIR CAT AROUND OVER PISS MOON AND ITS FLOCK OF EMOTIONLESS ACTORS

You: IF IT RESULTS TO CRUCIO, SO BE IT

Stranger: qhat?

Stranger: what?*

Stranger: oohhh your a harry potter fan

You: i’m so glad education has broadened your horizon enough to deduce that “crucio” is undoubtedly linked to harry potter

You: and i judge that you recognized my capslock (another sign of extraordinary IQ, rest assured) and immediately gathered that i’m probably not in the best of moods, DO YOU COPY

Stranger: um

Stranger: harry is lame, compared to edward, edward could bite him, and kill his skinny white ass!!

You: are you speaking in parseltongue, you dumb bitch, because last time, i checked, the english language, did not call for such an, overabundance of, commas

You: and as for the blatant mutation on your twenty-first chromosome (that’s intelligent speak for you’re a stupid hosebag with a brain the size of an underdeveloped grape and an education that climaxed in preschool) which apparently caused you to believe that edward would miraculously escape the wrath of harry potter, or more frighteningly, lord voldemort

You: i’m forced to tell you something

Stranger: what

You: lean in real close

Stranger: ..ok, what?

You: a little closer

Stranger: say it now

You: tiny bit closer

Stranger: ok

You: FUCK YOU, YOU TRIPE LITTLE PIECE OF SHIT

You: YOU THINK JK ROWLING’S TOUR DE FORCE OF A SERIES COULD EVER COME SECOND TO MEYER’S WIMPY LITTLE PLOTLESS GARBAGE THAT MIGHT AS WELL FEATURE A HANDSOMELY BEDRAGGLED HIGHLANDER ON THE FRONT AND SHOVED IN WALMART’S “MASS MARKET” ROMANCE SECTION?

You: YOU DUMB FUCKING CUNT! I SERIOUSLY BELIEVE EVEN MILEY CYRUS HAS MORE BRAIN CELLS TO RUB TOGETHER THAN YOU AND YOUR COMMA-SPASTIC, DUMB SHIT SELF

You: GO BACK TO READING VAMP DIARIES AND WATCHING iCARLY AND DIGGING THE BURGER KING LEFTOVERS FROM BETWIXT YOUR KEYBOARD KEYS, YOU MUTANT

You: AND FOR THE RECORD, WHILE EDWARD MIGHT ATTRACT THE CHUNKY DREGS OF THE FEMALE POPULATION, HARRY DOES NOT DATE FAT LITTLE SHITS

You: (ASK ELOISE MIDGEN, BITCH)

You: SO GET OVER YOUR GAYBO INFERIORITY COMPLEX OR IT’S CINNAMON TOAST CRUCIO FOR BREAKFAST

You: NIGGA OUT

You have disconnected.

Can’t breathe